Friendship --- My Take

Now, I am always confused when I read the very common quote-

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

Is a true friend the one who helps you when you are in need or does it say that a true friend is one who appeals to you when he* is in need?

It is common tendency to decipher the quote as meaning the former interpretation but think about it. Any good human being, regardless of whether he is a friend or not, helps a man in distress. But, it is only a true friend who seeks your help when he is in need. The appeal for succour shows his trust in you that you wouldn’t let him down. In other words, he indirectly conveys to you that he banks on you in crises and you too can do the same.

So, I define friendship as a mutually beneficial association between people. Now, the benefits can be both materialistic as well as intangible. Materialistic, I won’t elaborate. By intangible, I mean qualitative aspects like personality development, societal living, understanding of different cultures, the concept of sharing, most importantly,tolerance of a different opinion than your’s etc.

I personally am a very friendly person. It takes hardly anytime for me to establish an easy bonhomie with people. People who know me well will testify that I have that knack of developing a special one-to-one relation with each of them. Now, there are reasons for this too. (In fact, everything I do has many reasons. I am an overly rational person hehe..)

Reason 1: What ever one becomes in life, it is important that he realizes the role of society in his achievements and pays back to it.

What is the fun of an achievement if it ain’t applauded by the society in general? And, it is for your well-wishers that you covet glory. Hence, it is important to expand that list of well-wishers. When the number of people praying for you increases, there is an enhanced probability of God granting your wishes.

Reason 2: If you are unfriendly, there is a very alarming possibility of you becoming a frustrated soul and hence, an underachiever. When people don’t appreciate you because of your iconoclastic nature, your productivity goes down.

Reason 3: Our scriptures say this about friendship:

“ Jaadyam dhiyo harathi sinchathi vaachi sathyam,

Maanonnathim dishathi paapamapaa karothi,

Chethaha prasaadayathi dikshu tanoothi keerthim,

Satsangathih kathhaya kim na karothi pumsaam?”

“Good company (friends) enhances your intelligence, it is truthful, it shows you the right and the righteous way, it mollifies your sins, and it spreads your intellect and fame. What does good company not do for a man? In other words, it does every thing.”

I am a strictly traditional man. I don’t go against the scriptures. So I make it a point to be in good company always.
Finally, I would like to clear up a misconception that parents are friends.This is a ridiculous idea propounded first by Dr.Benjamin Spock while counselling how to raise teenage children.
The filial bond between a parent and a child-- that is a SACROSANCT realtion, I say. One need not assign a belittling tag of friendship to it. I think it is this misconception that breeds a lot of disrespect in the minds of teenagers towards their parents. Fellow young men and women, your parents are not your friends, they will never be on that equal pedestal with you. They are your parents, dammit. They have seen life more than you have and are wiser. So think again if you resent the fact that your parents are not "understanding" or accomodative of your idiosyncracies. Whatever they decide are in your best interests and you would be wise to show implicit obedience and respect.To think otherwise would be woefully myopic.

Enough of this sermon, feel free to comment.

* All he's can be conveniently taken to mean he/she. I am not a male chauvinist.